So, I’m getting married next year, haven’t set a date yet we just know it’s going to be next year at some point. And after going out to try on dresses and see which ones would fit the theme that we are wanting to use, I was surprised to find that I found my dress on the first shot. It was perfect and it got me to thinking. Just how much of the wedding proceedings people drag themselves through is actually necessary for a wedding to be a special day?
I know, strange for a bride-to-be to be thinking that she doesn’t deserve everything there is to be offered on her wedding day, but I’m not a “dress-up” kinda woman. While at the bridal shop, there were women there who were so … picky. One girl had a figure to die for, I mean she had the big breasts, round bottom, and skinny figure you normally associate with porn stars rather than a real female. But because her shoulders were a little too wide, she dismissed dress after dress after dress. Finding flaws in every one of them when she looked fantastic. Me on the other hand? I tried on four dresses, liked one, loved the second. Even got it on sale which is awesome, and it came with matching dresses for my daughters to wear. Triple points there!
And then, after finding the dress I was told that I needed to pick out shoes, head gear, and jewelry. I have to decide a venue for the actual wedding, pick an officiant to oversee the ceremony, make up a list of food to be eaten at the reception, flower arrangements, fittings, a host of all these little things that I’m told can be done by someone else and I want to be done by someone else but the stupid OCD person in me is demanding that I do by myself with input from others.
And then I have a stressed out fiance who really has no reason to be stressed at all because he’s not working, not looking for work, spends all his time on the xBox and laptop, making me work on a piece of crap computer so that he can watch his programs in HD. All the time.
I have to work. Keep the house clean, take care of the kids, make sure there’s enough food for meals that I have to cook. On top of that I have to organize the divorce proceedings for that idiot I married the first time around, get things going for that to take place as quickly as possible so I can have his rights terminated and his tail thrown in jail for non-payment of child support over a period of two years (if you’re curious as to how much he owes, multiply $150 by 24) and then make sure that the laundry is done, the trash is picked up, and plan this wedding.
So. After finding the dress I got to thinking. Am I really wanting to go through with a big production? I mean, yeah, for the first time in ever I actually felt pretty when I saw myself in that dress. But I can buy a wedding dress at any point in time and still have the same effect. I don’t need a dress for just one occasion in order to feel special. I feel special every day of the week. I feel special when my fiance holds me in his arms and tells me I’m the most important woman in the world to him. I feel special when he smiles at me and laughs at the pitiful excuse of a joke I may crack. I feel special when we sit together and just talk. I feel special when he compliments the meals I cook. I feel special when we sit outside and look at the stars together. I feel special when I see him holding and cuddling with our children. I feel special every time he looks my way and says that he loves me without any prompting or nudges. Just says it because that’s how he feels and he wants me to know.
Having a big wedding would be nice. My first marriage was done under a plum tree by a Magistrate. My family surrounded me and everyone was happy. This marriage, well, let’s just say we’re doing the ceremony with the Magistrate first because we want to be able to show the courts a united stand when I go to petition for termination of rights and open the doors for him to adopt the kids legally, but his family is wanting the big ceremony. And now that I’ve picked a dress, a theme, and a style, I kinda do too. I just don’t want to have to do everything on my own. This is his wedding as much as it is my own, I want his input. Even if it’s “You better not put me in something frilly or tie a rope around my neck”. I love my fiance. I want him to be happy. Just like he makes me happy.