Weddings

So, I’m getting married next year, haven’t set a date yet we just know it’s going to be next year at some point. And after going out to try on dresses and see which ones would fit the theme that we are wanting to use, I was surprised to find that I found my dress on the first shot. It was perfect and it got me to thinking. Just how much of the wedding proceedings people drag themselves through is actually necessary for a wedding to be a special day?

I know, strange for a bride-to-be to be thinking that she doesn’t deserve everything there is to be offered on her wedding day, but I’m not a “dress-up” kinda woman. While at the bridal shop, there were women there who were so … picky. One girl had a figure to die for, I mean she had the big breasts, round bottom, and skinny figure you normally associate with porn stars rather than a real female. But because her shoulders were a little too wide, she dismissed dress after dress after dress. Finding flaws in every one of them when she looked fantastic. Me on the other hand? I tried on four dresses, liked one, loved the second. Even got it on sale which is awesome, and it came with matching dresses for my daughters to wear. Triple points there!

And then, after finding the dress I was told that I needed to pick out shoes, head gear, and jewelry. I have to decide a venue for the actual wedding, pick an officiant to oversee the ceremony, make up a list of food to be eaten at the reception, flower arrangements, fittings, a host of all these little things that I’m told can be done by someone else and I want to be done by someone else but the stupid OCD person in me is demanding that I do by myself with input from others.

And then I have a stressed out fiance who really has no reason to be stressed at all because he’s not working, not looking for work, spends all his time on the xBox and laptop, making me work on a piece of crap computer so that he can watch his programs in HD. All the time.

I have to work. Keep the house clean, take care of the kids, make sure there’s enough food for meals that I have to cook. On top of that I have to organize the divorce proceedings for that idiot I married the first time around, get things going for that to take place as quickly as possible so I can have his rights terminated and his tail thrown in jail for non-payment of child support over a period of two years (if you’re curious as to how much he owes, multiply $150 by 24) and then make sure that the laundry is done, the trash is picked up, and plan this wedding.

So. After finding the dress I got to thinking. Am I really wanting to go through with a big production? I mean, yeah, for the first time in ever I actually felt pretty when I saw myself in that dress. But I can buy a wedding dress at any point in time and still have the same effect. I don’t need a dress for just one occasion in order to feel special. I feel special every day of the week. I feel special when my fiance holds me in his arms and tells me I’m the most important woman in the world to him. I feel special when he smiles at me and laughs at the pitiful excuse of a joke I may crack. I feel special when we sit together and just talk. I feel special when he compliments the meals I cook. I feel special when we sit outside and look at the stars together. I feel special when I see him holding and cuddling with our children. I feel special every time he looks my way and says that he loves me without any prompting or nudges. Just says it because that’s how he feels and he wants me to know.

Having a big wedding would be nice. My first marriage was done under a plum tree by a Magistrate. My family surrounded me and everyone was happy. This marriage, well, let’s just say we’re doing the ceremony with the Magistrate first because we want to be able to show the courts a united stand when I go to petition for termination of rights and open the doors for him to adopt the kids legally, but his family is wanting the big ceremony. And now that I’ve picked a dress, a theme, and a style, I kinda do too. I just don’t want to have to do everything on my own. This is his wedding as much as it is my own, I want his input. Even if it’s “You better not put me in something frilly or tie a rope around my neck”. I love my fiance. I want him to be happy. Just like he makes me happy.

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Wow

It has been a long time since I was able to get on here to do a post, and while I know I have some followers, I do apologize for the long delay. I have been testing out various freelance writing sites and dealing with the day-to-day requirements of being a writer/mom/wife/etc. So, here’s my update on all things Freelance!

First off, if you are a writer, don’t be afraid to put your foot down with a client. They are not always right when it comes to the articles they are requesting. For example. This morning I accepted a job about aid for low-income families needing aid with child care. Now any parent who has needed help knows that there are several places out there that will help you. Some states call it Work First, others call it Aid for Dependent Children, and others call it something entirely different. But there is a nationwide program that not only helps put children in child care so that the parents can work, but also helps supplement their income until they can be established in a job setting. Along with this government program, there are other programs that are there to help low-income parents put their children in childcare so that they can work. One program is the SPAOA, Single Parent Alliance of America. I wrote the article, sent it to the client, only for the client to return it for revision with a nasty note attached.

“There is no government agency that helps low-income families with child care. Sentence structure and grammar is horrible. The SPAOA is a for-profit organization, they don’t help people at all, they sell information. Honestly, there is nothing here that I can use at all.”

Now, if the individual, who is only known as Client ID #2165217 on my favorite site Textbroker, had just asked for a restructuring of the sentences or correct any grammatical error then I would have been fine with the whole revision thing. But for this person to come out and say that there are no government programs to help low-income families at all, well that just irked my tators (pardon the southern expression). So I sent this individual this reply:

“I have lived in 12 different states, and in each state there has been Work First, it is not exclusive to only certain states but is nationwide. The SPAOA is not a for-profit organization. I have had to use them and I can tell you that if it hadn’t been for their help I wouldn’t have been able to get my law degree as well as find housing and a vehicle that was less than 10 years old. Maybe you should do your research instead of kicking mine down. Like I said in the end of the article, a simple search shows what’s available and what’s not. Work First is a nationwide assistance program, used to be called Aid for Dependent Children in some places. I’m canceling the article, I won’t write for someone who doesn’t know anything about what they are wanting. It’s obvious you are a spam requester. “

I thought that would be that. But no. This individual responded to me with this:

“I’ve purchased more than 100 articles on textbroker.com and this is by far the worst article I have received. Go to the SPAOA website and the VERY first line of text says “SPAOA.org is a for profit organization comprised of information, resources, offers from third party affiliates and benefits for Single Parents…..” As for Work First there are various programs by that name and none are an official national program so any statement needs to be more specific. Some of the “Work First” programs only help people find employment , some others help people with disabilities and some also do help with child care. Please do cancel the article, I’d love to have someone else do it.”

So after this, I blacklisted the requester and told them to not contact me ever again. In situations like this, where the client has no experience with dealing with the various programs, and thinks to tell you, the expert on this field, that your knowledge is false, it is ok to put your foot down and refuse the work given.

One great place that allows for this is Zery’s, http://www.zerys.com. With this site, you have a bi-weekly payday, no matter what you have earned in that time frame you will receive the money that you have earned. There is no minimum amount to earn before you get paid, and there are moderators that run the site and look for invalid accounts that might post up jobs for scam purposes. I have had this happen on Zery’s twice, both articles I had written were rejected when the policy of the page is that no article is rejected unless there is clear violations of the order being made. I was contacted by the Zery’s moderators to let me know that those clients were fraudulent accounts and that the rejections would be taken care of. I have only worked with this site for a month, but I can tell you, that this policy is by far the best one I have seen on a writing site and is something that I have been saying all along about writers.

Writers need the chance to grow and learn. They shouldn’t have their works rejected flat out, but instead have it sent for revisions so that they can learn what mistakes they have made and know what to look for in future works.